Who Gets Your Best?
Dear Asher,
There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, and it’s something I want you to carry with you as you grow into the man God made you to be. I was listening to my mentor on Friday, and he said:
“You give your gift to the Body,
but your blood to the Bride.”
I’ve been reflecting a lot on that.
You know that Papa Steve and I do a lot of ministry. We run The Seeing Place and write at Inscribe the Word. We’re often talking to others, helping where we can, and working late into the night. All of it is good. I don’t regret the ministries we lead. But I’ve come to learn that if we’re not careful, the gifts we give others can start to feel like a resentful burden rather than a blessing.
At the same time, we have you, our marriage, and our family. Spending time together, working in the yard, going on “The Trail,” playing with Benny, laughing at Papa Steve’s jokes, watching The Chosen and House of David, or simply hanging out—Asher, these are not just good things; they are sacred and holy. I have learned through a lot of pain and hardship that this ministry of marriage and family is even more important than the work we do with others.
Your gifts, Asher, whether it’s teaching, writing, music, acting, or singing, are meant to bless many people. However, your life, your deepest love, time, and sacrifice should be devoted to your wife and children.
I’ve made mistakes in this area. I’ve put ministry, work, other people’s needs, the shows, the songs, the writings—all of it—before my own family. I thought the most important work was what I did for others. Asher, I was so wrong, and I learned the hard way that this wasn’t God’s design for us.
Over the past year or two, I’ve been embracing the truth that you and Papa Steve are the most important ministry I’ve ever been entrusted with. You are my priority. I bleed for you and for my marriage. I share my gifts with others, but devote my life to you.
Jesus modeled this so perfectly, Asher.
He healed the crowds but gave His life—His blood—for the Bride.
He withdrew often.
He rested.
He protected His peace, His mental, and physical health.
He showed us that caring for your soul with the Father isn’t optional. It’s essential.
He was rooted in love and obedience, even when it meant saying “no.”
He didn’t heal everyone.
He wasn’t on anyone’s timeline but the Father’s.
Jesus modeled what it means to be truly human, Buddy.
Yes, He was God, but He was also a real and living man in the flesh (John 1:1–14).
My mentor also said something else that stopped me in my tracks:
“If you bleed for the wrong ministry (for the crowds), you’ll bleed out.”
The crowds will always want more. More life, more blood, more gifts, more stories, more time, more, more, more. And if you’re not careful, you’ll give everything and still feel empty.
That’s not what God asks of us, Asher. He calls us to pour out with Him, not apart from Him, and always with wisdom and boundaries.
Practically, Asher, here’s how I’m trying to pivot. I hope you see it and feel it. I’m still trying really hard.
Papa Steve and I are working to change the trajectory of our family.
We’re still giving excellence to The Seeing Place and Inscribe the Word, but we’re fiercely protecting the space of our hearts, our home, and our family.
We’re saying no to things that would drain us.
We’re stepping back from relationships that deplete us.
We’re choosing presence over performance.
We’re learning to give our gifts without losing ourselves and to give our best to each other.
You’re the place I give my best.
Not just my time, but my heart.
And I pray that one day, you’ll know how to carry your calling and your covenant with the same kind of love.